i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
