woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
