he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
