I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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