what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
