I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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