worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
