i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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