How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
