would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
