you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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