I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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