she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize