I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
