You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
