i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
