i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
