so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Terrible idea I love it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
