btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
