The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
