Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
