Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
