Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
