I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
