Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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