dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't want my vagina anymore.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
