one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
