meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
