i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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