pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
