What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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