She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
