I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
