got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
