The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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