I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
