I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
