I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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