I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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