If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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