Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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