i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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