one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
