Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize