You're my little dorito
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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