im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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