Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So much rum. So many feels.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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