Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
