I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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