I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize