If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
