***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
