You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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