I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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