I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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