All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
