Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize