he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
