wanna go halves on a baby?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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