she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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