Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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