It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
