let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
