Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
not ubering you a puppy
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
