i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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