its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
