How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
