it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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