If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
