coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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