So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
