one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
